The B-Word

To a teacher, or to any creative person or performer (and I would put “teacher” in that category), the most dreaded word, when applied to your work, is “boring”. When Jen and I taught in Indonesia many years ago, the privileged rich kids we had as students had been allowed to get into the habit of spitting out the word “boring” whenever something didn’t suit them. Well, a few whacks with a bamboo rod fixed that problem (just kidding - it wasn’t like we were in Singapore!). Ever since then, I am loathe to use that word in connection with my own life, and I try never to describe myself as being “bored”.

Well, as we have shared our experiences here in Vientiane, I think we’ve managed to convey the peaceful, slow-paced, easy-going nature of the place and its people. Therein lies its charm and attractiveness to someone seeking a life of tranquility. Once you’ve settled in, seen the sights, and established a workaday routine, however, this town probably ranks in the lower percentiles on the urban “thrill-o-meter”, the occasional festival notwithstanding. This is not a problem as long as I am accompanied by my trusty sidekick, Jennie, who, as some of you may be aware, is a one-woman action sequence of non-stop chills, spills, and thrills. Boring, this girl ain’t.

Eleven days ago, I said a tearful (OK, I didn’t really cry) good-bye to my mitad de naranja at Vientiane’s Wattay Airport. Jennifer had places to go, things to do, and people to see in the former Soviet Union (watch for the next installment on this blog: Jen Does Dnipropetrovsk!) Almost immediately, a feeling of ennui began to seep into my consciousness. According to Wikipedia, ennui can be defined as “general lack of interest…it may also refer to oppressive boredom”. Within hours, I was wandering around our apartment talking to myself. It’s a good thing I’m a scintillating conversationalist.

I don’t want to beat this buffalo too hard, but suffice it to say that the excitement level in my day to day life has taken a precipitous drop. When before I looked forward to going out to dinner every night, now it’s just too much trouble to put on some clothes and walk down the street. I have started eating scrambled eggs and tunafish rather than dine out alone. I’m spending hours in front of the A/C reading detective novels (did I ever mention how hot it is here?). I’ve watched several crappy movies (sorry Clive Owen, but you suck). It’s just kind of b*ring going through the ol’ daily routines without a fun & funny partner to share them with.

However, as the disco diva once sang, I will survive. I am compensating by exercising more and eating less, resulting in a svelter (“It’s sveltering in here! Turn on the fan!”) profile. I’m spending less money on restaurants. I’m catching up on my correspondence (slowly). So "it’s all good", as they say. This Skype thing is very cool. I get to have conversations with my girlie frequently (I can see her, but she can’t see me, haha). I’m not sad or lonely. Things are just a little, you know...the b-word.

Sabaidee Pi Mai Lao!

"Happy Lao New Year"! The Lao calendar puts new year celebrations on April 14, 15, and 16 this year . . . with the festivities spilling over into the weekend. We went back to Luang Prabang in the northern part of Laos (Joe had given workshops up there in November). Luang Prabang is famous for their "Pi Mai" madness . . . which involves a whole lotta water!

We arrived on the 10th so everything seemed pretty normal on the town front - morning fruit and veg market, evening craft market, French colonial architecture, manicures, pedicures, massages, happy Lao people, and a few tourists. On the 11th, we decided to head for a deluxe resort just outside the town for a relaxing day at the pool (Lao water experience #1 - heretoforth to be blogged as LWE). It was a beautiful setting with jungle plants all around. We were able to get there for free by hitching a ride with the sister resort's shuttle bus in town. However, we had to shell down about 7 bucks each for the actual pool privilege.

Our second LWE was on the 12th - we paid the 17 bucks to hire a "song teuw" - kinda like a big tuk-tuk to take us to the Kouangsi waterfall, wait for us, then bring us back. The scenery was pretty, but very smoky, on the 30 km ride. This time of year is prime time for burning debris for some reason. On the way we saw the coolest looking water buffalo - pink! I guess they were albinos . . . I would've loved to take a picture of them standing in the midst of their more traditional-looking buddies. However, we just marveled from our vehicle.

The waterfall was amazing with pool after pool of water safe for swimming. It was lovely and a little less hot due to the jungle canopy. Also, near the waterfall was a bear sanctuary - which my friend Melissa in England told us about! There were numerous, active, rescued Asiatic Black Bears that all seemed pretty comfortable in their Australian-sponsored compounds. Too bad we couldn't pet them :)

LWE #3 started on the 13th, when at 1pm locals started placing large plastic tubs near the side of the road and filling them with water. No one was spared. If you just wanted to walk down to the Internet cafe - splash-ola they got you! It was especially cute when the little kids tried to do it  . . . . so we just walked by them really slowly to be intentional easy targets. They were thrilled when they got a "falang" - and we were pleasantly cooled off! Joe's students had told him that the kids are told that they must ask before they pour water on "older people". We were happy to see that no one asked our permission!

LWE #4 - Well the 14th was really the radical first day when all the giant plastic water guns came out - not to mention so did all the tourists. International tourists as well as local villagers made their way to this little town to take place in the most creative and peaceful water fights ever (it was the "falang" who occasionally resorted to squirting directly in the face, heckling each other, and eventually using the f-word loudly in public . . . it's hard being one of them sometimes!). The water works started early - so the camera was left in the guest house along with the cell phone and anything that couldn't get soaked. Truckloads of teenagers playing loud music went round and round the city loaded with huge tubs of water, bowls for "flinging" the water at those on the sides of the street and at each other. Those standing on the street, also playing loud music, fought right back scooping and flinging at the passing vehicles. Tuk tuk drivers seemed to be the most fun as it often caused their carburetors to get wet, their vehicles to die, and the people to swarm and "dump" buckets of water on driver and anyone in the back!

LWE #5 - We escaped in our soaking clothes to sit on a short wall near the Mekong - which ironically is way lower than usual due to drought right now. A family of 4 villagers walked over and sat a bit further down the wall. Joe and I were slurping from our big bottle of mineral water. They smiled at us - we smiled at them - their kids were very cute. Then out of nowhere the man started talking to me . . . asking me something . . . pointing at our bottle of water . . . then pointing to his little boy. I said, "OK - here you go." How could we deny them a drink or two. Well, after the bottle made its way round the family unit - I indicated the he could keep it. He smiled, said Kup Chai, tipped the bottle down, and started filling his water gun.

Our flight was scheduled for 1 pm which was to be the time of the grand parade with the winner of Miss Luang Prabang riding "an animal" - at least that's what I was told. However, the melee was a bit too crazy for us and we decided not to postpone our departure. We got back to Vientiane where we had LWE #6 and #7  - revelers here splashed our taxi from the side of the road and then later nailed Joe hard as he left the house to buy some . . . water.

The reason all this water is a part of the celebration is because 1. In the buddhist religion water blesses you bringing long life and peace, 2. It's frickin' hot outside, 3. The new year marks the end of the dry season and the coming of the monsoons. So, like clockwork, last night we had a big rain storm, lightning, and thunder. LWE #8.

When You're Hot, You're Hot!

Hot.
Real hot.
How hot?
“Hotter than snake shit on the desert floor”, my friend used to say.

More like being inside a pizza oven when the crust is burning.

We are in the tongue-lolling dog days of Lao summer, which comes with startling speed right at the tail end of Lao winter (Lao spring? No existe, amigo!). North Americans and Europeans would be surprised to learn that March and April are the hottest months in these tropical regions around 10-15 degrees latitude. We have had several weeks of flirtation with the 100 degree Fahrenheit mark and have recently crashed straight through it. Sunday, it was 103 with a heat index of 113. A sudden and violent thunder storm that night had me thinking that maybe the temperatures were going to slacken…it was back to 100 on Monday - but with more humidity!

We have lived in the tropics before and I normally tolerate it quite well, but this place is really freakin’ hot. I taught my normal Tuesday class this morning at 8:00 AM. I was boiling with sweat at the outset, mopping my face like Louis Armstrong, and by 8:15 had soaked my t-shirt, short-sleeve shirt, and trousers all the way through. My students, worried about me, went and fetched me ice water. Bless ‘em.

I don’t think I mentioned the case of prickly heat I came down with last September when it was only 95 degrees with 80% humidity (Lao autumn!). Yes, folks. Prickly heat is real, and it sucks wildly. Having learned my lesson, I never go anywhere without my umbrella, and I take at least two showers a day (unfortunately, “cold” water this time of year, you could make Cup o’ Soup with). Thank God we have air-conditioners and fans in every room of the house.

Now if we could only keep the electricity from going out every day! Yikes!