I Came, I Saw, I Kissed a Lot of Dudes

Needless to say, the US does not have a kissing culture. You know, the old-country kind of thing where folks kiss each other on the cheek upon greeting and again upon leave-taking. When I was growing up, such behavior was only seen in movies and usually had something to do with France. At some point in the 70's, the affectation known as the "air-kiss" found it's way from NY to Hollywood and eventually became the rage among scattered pockets of pretentious Americans. In my family, however, nobody kissed anybody. I'm not saying my family was typical, necessarily (heaven-forbid), but Americans traditionally are big on maintaining personal space. In addition, traditional male Americans are big on preserving a masculine image at all costs. A firm handshake, look you in the eye, and, "big boys don't cry". Man-on-man cheek kissing? Oh, hell no!

Europeans are, of course, different, especially those south of the British Isles. Cheek-kissing is de riguer in most cultures, and in some countries is extensive and quite ritualistic. When we were in Georgia, we were amazed to see the elaborate "three-cheek kiss" performed by seemingly all the men who would meet each other in the street. If you run into someone you know, the kissing is on, baby. The key though, is that you have to actually know the person before kissing them. After a few conversations, dinner, and several drinks, our friend Vano kissed me enthusiastically and proclaimed me, "the greatest American". [Glad you noticed, bro!] He should really shave more often.

Which brings us to the kissingest people on earth: the Argentines. All Argentines, men and women, boys and girls, kiss each other once on the right cheek upon meeting and again on saying good-bye ("chao, hasta luego"). It's really kind of nice, but the important difference here is that people enthusiastically kiss total strangers. OK, we know there's nothing inherently wrong with two men kissing, for example...but kissing somebody you've never laid eyes on and haven't even been introduced to is, well...it's a sort of kissing mania. At our first Argentine dinner-party, we arrived a little early and were hanging out in the front room as everyone else arrived. As couples came through the door, they greeted the hostess and then made a beeline for me - the next nearest person - to kiss me. "Hi, I'm Joe" came sometime after the smooching. As it was a large party, I must have kissed twenty complete strangers (half of them guys) in a matter of minutes.

Everybody wants to kiss you. The waiter at the Peruvian restaurant wants to kiss us. The guy at the art supply store. Random people lean in for some kissing at the drop of a hat. If you stick your hand out for a shake, you will get surprised (and slightly hurt) looks. In private conversations with some locals, I've heard the opinion that "perhaps we Argentines kiss too much". Of course, during cold and flu season my own thoughts turn to germs. The CDC in Atlanta would not approve of all this kissing, would they? Someone said that they don't like kissing in the summer because people are too sweaty. Great. Whiskers AND sweat. MMWWAAAHH! I can't wait...