Trivial Minds

Did we mention that there is a government imposed curfew on Vientiane? Probably not, because we aren’t really night owls under usual circumstances, and having to be out of the bars and home by 11:00 is not exactly a hardship for us. The government has recently begun a crackdown on wayward taverns and dodgy noodle-houses, closing several in the run-up to the Southeast Asia Games (SEAGames), to be held in Laos for the first time in early December. Although we go out for dinner every night, we are rarely out as late as 10 PM. (Yeah, yeah, hand me my cane, sonny…whatever!)

Anyway, we usually drop into this downtown bar for a couple of beers once or twice a week before having dinner at a nearby restaurant. Sticky’s is an Aussie-run joint, and we’ve gotten pretty friendly with the Lao lads that work there. On Saturday night, we were starving, but decided to go to Sticky’s for a beer first. It seemed crowded and the owners were running around the place feverishly. It turned out to be “Quiz Night”, held every six weeks or so, and the local trivia teams were filing up the staircase to prepare for this traditional battle of wits. To make a long story short, Jen, knowing my proclivities in this area and ignoring my intense hunger, talked me into forming an ad hoc team with the Australian couple next to us at the bar. It happened that the bloke, Yogi, is a colleague of Jen’s from her work. He and his wife, Amanda, were long-time also-rans in the trivia competition, but doggedly kept after it for the love of the game (or the drinks).

We were unknowns, dark horses from the outset. The rules were simple: eight rounds of questions covering categories determined by the bar owner…and may the best team win! First, we had to choose a team name and settled on “Grey Matter”. Simple but classy. As we were drinking our first beer and limbering up our brain muscles, my world suddenly became a blur. The leg of my plastic chair had given way, hurling me to the floor (along with a beer or two). I got up, shook it off and ordered replacement drinks. Let the games begin! Suddenly, Yogi’s chair also collapsed in a veritable tsunami of suds. Blazes! Jen was soaked in beer…but more importantly, why were none of the other competitor’s chairs giving way? We knew what we were facing.

The first category was “Sport”. I instinctively knew I was going to suck at this one because my sports trivia knowledge, although extensive, doesn’t really extend to soccer, cricket, and rugby. One look at me mate, Yogi, however, put my mind at ease. Sure enough, Jen and I knew almost none of the answers, but our Aussie friends acquitted themselves well, guessing six out of eight. The competition continued through the categories: inventors, food, music, history, literature – we seemed to get stronger as the questioning went on. Jen nailed one: the title of Roald Dahl’s autobiography. Amanda pitched in: it was Anne Boleyn bore Henry VIII a child, I’m sure of it. Yogi insisted that mozzarella was made out of buffalo milk. Score! I did my thing. The longest charting Beatles single ever? Hey Jude, of course.

By the time the final category, “Cinema”, came around, the dark horse team was pulling away down the stretch. “Oliver Stone!” “Gary Oldman!” “Ginger Rogers!” We ran the table. Another team composed of Jen’s workmates (it’s a small town) had been accustomed to winning easily. They seemed to be in shock. When the final figures were tallied, “Grey Matter” was indeed victorious. Yogi and Amanda received a bunch of free minutes for their mobile phones, and Jen and I got 400,000 kip (almost fifty bucks) worth of gift certificates to Sticky’s. Awesome!

As we rode the afterglow of victory down the stairs and into the sultry nighttime streets of Vientiane, we realized: Holy shit! It’s after 11!