That's What "Friends" Is For

Laos’ premier “adventure tourism” destination is undoubtedly Vang Vieng, a small town in Vientiane Province around 160 km (90 miles) from our home in the capital city. Located on the Nam Song River, a tributary of the Mekong, it is famous for its beautifully rugged limestone mountains, rock-climbing and fabulous caves, in addition to the many water-based activities on tap, like kayaking and, especially, floating the Nam Song on inflated inner tubes. It is this latter activity that has placed Vang Vieng squarely on the SE Asia backpacker circuit. An entire industry has been created providing “tubing” enthusiasts with everything they could possibly need after a hard day of floating/drinking in the hot sun– specifically, plenty of loud music, cheap booze/drugs, and grubby guesthouses in which to sleep it off. Jen & I just had to go see for ourselves!

Of course, we were mostly interested in getting out of town (our first trip to the countryside) and seeing some beautiful Lao scenery. Given the near-incessant heat in these parts, floating down a beautiful river sounded not half-bad, but the reputation of the whole tubing scene was off-putting enough that I just didn’t want to “go there”- at least not on our first trip. After a four hour bus ride through some beautiful country, we arrived in Vang Vieng just after dark. We snagged a nice hotel room by the river ($18) then headed into town.

At this point, I have to mention that the other thing Vang Vieng is famous for is the sheer number of cheap restaurants/ bars that play reruns of “Friends” around the clock. Although this phenomenon is debated with great frequency on traveler’s discussion boards, I refused to believe that it was as widespread as people claimed. Well…it’s true! There are probably a hundred indistinguishable dives lining the streets of town, and fully half were blasting “Friends” episodes, often to rooms devoid of patrons. We finally went past a place where a half dozen young people lolled motionlessly on platforms, staring blankly at a blaring television screen. What the hell were they on that would induce such a catatonic response? I just didn’t get it.

Anyway, we woke up early the next day and discovered our balcony had a staggering view of the craggy mountains across the river. We embarked on a long walk across a toll bridge, through an electric-green rice paddy, to the base of the nearest mountain (I hope the photos we took do some justice to the stunning beauty of the place). We resolved to take the same road to a more distant (7 km) cave/pool later in the day.

We set out after breakfast and hitched a ride in a tuk- tuk with some Canadian teens who were headed the same way. When I spoke incredulously about the stoned-out people lounging in front of “Friends”, they sheepishly admitted their own participation. “Everybody’s just so hung-over!” they explained. Hmmm. David Schwimmer’s adenoidal whine is no kind of hangover remedy, kids. Anyway, we got to the spot and sure enough there was a big swimming hole with the requisite ropes and big tree for jumping in. Jen and I climbed up the mountain to the entrance to the cave, but declined the miner’s headlamp or the guide. I guess we prefer our caves a little more spacious. The pool was, however, icy cold and we took a refreshing dip.

The following day was the Boun Ok Phansa festival (featuring longboat races) that comes at the end of the rainy season. After taking another early morning exploratory hike searching for a promised swimming hole (no luck), we watched a bit of the boat race preparation before jumping on a bus and heading home to Vientiane.

Without doubt, Vang Vieng is stunningly beautiful. The backpacker scene, however, is “not my bag, man”, as Austin Powers might say. It is geared toward young partiers from around the world who come to get wasted amidst beautiful scenery, scenery I’m not sure they appreciate fully (there were incapacitated “Friends” victims on display all day and night). Perhaps an explanation can be found on the “special menu” offered at many backpacker haunts (see photo). Notice the last item: “O[pium] tea” for a measly twelve dollars!